Not actually a tard.

Glenny – Appreciating My Husband.

Posted by leahtard on July 26, 2007

img030.jpgGlenn and I

img041.jpgGlenn and Vivian img0462.jpgGlenn and Alex

My husbands name in Glenn and I mostly call him my Glenny, occasionally I might call him an ass, but it is not because I am mad at him, it is because he is being a smart ass, (not to be confused with a dumb ass because they are very different.) My Glenny is a pretty fantastic guy if I do say so myself and undoubtedly the best father I have ever seen in action, not to mention what a stellar husband he is.

I would have to say that he is definitely a hands on kinda dad, that always helps out with the kids and around the house. He can fix most anything, making him a pretty handy guy to have. Not only do I love him immensely and all he does for our family, I am quite partial to the lovely paycheck he brings home to me.

I could do a little list of the wonderful things he does for our family but I think he deserves a bit more than that, so if you are inclined bare with me and read about my husband and what a great guy he is.

This morning I woke up to my husband giving me a kiss good by before he left for work, (he has done this most everyday of our married life – 8 years.) Then as with everyday he goes to work to earn his pay. I know there are many days when he would love to stay at home, to be with us, to play, to love and to watch his children grow. He, maybe more that most laments about how much he is missing with the kids and how quickly they grow. I see it, and appreciate what he is saying but because I experience their lives with them everyday their growing up does not seem quite so – oh, I can’t find the right word, um mm…….imminent!

I love

I love how Glenn loves his family, his children and of course me. I love the time and effort he puts into all of his thoughts actions and deeds. I love how every night he comes home and everybody stops what they are doing to say hello and to give hugs and kisses. I love that Glenn always gives me a hour after he gets home to just do nothing but watch the three of them enjoy each other. I love how we talk every night about our days – what worked and what didn’t. I love that our solutions are ones we come up with together.

I appreciate

I appreciate his mother, Lois and his father Walter, who raised him to be such a fantastic man. I appreciate, the life Glenn works so hard to give me and our children. I appreciate how hard it is to be a man in the world today, where often if something makes you feel good it must be right and making the choice to do different can be a hard one.

I am thankful

I am thankful Glenn is not greedy or selfish, that he puts his family first always. I am thankful that he is conscious of how deeply he is needed, wanted and loved. I am thankful he is so loving back and so protective of his family.

We love you Glenn (Daddy)

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Frog cake

Posted by leahtard on July 20, 2007

View this slideshow created at One True Media
frog cake

To see all four pictures click on the link.

This cake worked great! I liked him so much I named him Fredrick Frog.

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Queen of Cake!

Posted by leahtard on July 19, 2007

View this slideshow created at One True Media

These are some of the cakes that have worked!

I love to bake, I love the praise that comes with what I bake, I love that people usually express great satisfaction over the effort I put into my projects and how everything tastes. Rarely do I have disasters and when I do it is typically something I can fix. This was not the case this week! I say week because it seemed everything I touched when bad. It started with banana bread then moved on to almond brittle, why I thought I could bake a children’s birthday cake is beyond me, but I did.

Last night I baked 6 – 9 inch round cakes, 3 chocolate fudge and 3 vanilla confetti along with one square cake and 6 large cup cakes and 4 small cupcakes. I do realize that all this baking seems a bit exorbitant but I bake cakes on the side for “pin money”, as my grandma use to call it. One cake is frog cake commissioned to me by a friend and the other was for Alex’s 3rd birthday party. This cake was going to be my crowning glory, better than any cake I had made before! The party theme was Pirates, and what Pirate party is complete with out a Pirate Ship Cake! So I put my plan into action I baked and baked and baked till finally all the cakes were done. I then threw them in the freezer to make them easier to work with. I whipped up my famous chocolate butter cream frosting and was ready to start first thing in the morning.

First thing in the morning I pulled my cakes out of the freezer and softened the icing, then slowly started to cut ice and glue my cake together. It was going perfect and looked amazing and took about 3 hours to ice. Here is where it all started to go bad. No sooner had I pipped on my last bit of icing than I hear a plop. I look down to see the back third of my cake lying on the floor! As I stood there dumbfounded I then watched the front third of my cake detach from the hull. I can not express the anger I felt/ feel at all this work going to waste.

As I stand there staring at my disembodied ship in great big chocolate heaps, I start to cry and then I scream! Alex and Evan come running into the kitchen to see what is wrong and start to laugh.

This is what I hear.

Alex: Oooooooooh mommmmmmmy, that is so funny, you got a brokent ship, you had better keen it up!

Mommy: I know that Alex and I will.

Alex: Mommy did you wreck my birthday party?

Mommy: You boys need to go away, I need a time out.

Thankfully they left and I sat down at the computer to write about it. The cake is still sitting on my floor yet to be cleaned up one hour later. I guess I’d better go do that now and get started again.

P.S. Alex started crying inconsolably about a hour later because he thought I wrecked his birthday, thankfully he liked the new cake idea and jumped on board!

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I hate clowns!

Posted by leahtard on July 18, 2007





clowns.jpg clowns3.jpg

I Hate Clowns

Big, round red noses and floppy, floppy shoes; orange fright wigs and all that garish makeup. Pretending to be something you know they are not – HAPPY! How can they be they usually look like a 60 year old miscreant drunk! You just know they can’t be up to any good.
There’s an actual name for the condition of being terrified by clowns. It’s called coulrophobia.
But let’s not stop, or even linger thoughtfully, at the phobia stage; let’s take it straight to the next level of detestation and loathing. Still with me? Good. You’re home.

I do not know how or when this “thing” with clowns started but local lore, (my mother) states that it was about the age of 2-3, they took me to the Shrine Circus, where a clown came up to me and I screamed like someone took away my favorite lolly, (which happens to be blue raspberry) and have had problems ever since. I might add I also am not so keen on marshmallows and Jello – but I think that is a texture thing. Anyway I digress, back to the God hatin clowns.

Yes, it is true I don’t like these creatures and why so many women have these heads of clowns hanging on there walls, truly befuddles me (it is so creepy, I can not express my distrust of people who love and hang these things up I always think they are hiding something) and am not at all sure why it could be considered “Art”.

Tell me please if you hate clowns or maybe just about that thing you hate!



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Saying good-by when I have hardly said hello.

Posted by leahtard on July 17, 2007

View this montage created at One True Media
View this montage created at One True Media
Friends/Stampede/Gull Lake/Hail

For those who do not know I have had the opportunity to connect with family that I had never met before. I say met because I always knew about them…… sort of, but because of circumstances being what they were a meeting would not happen for years. A couple months ago I had the opportunity and honor to met my half-sister Michelle and her husband Rob along with, my half-brother Gilles and their mom Annette. Very soon after we all met I found out Michelle and Rob were leaving on a one year trip, how exciting for them but leaving us with very little time to get to know each other before they leave. God Bless Annette in all this because she has facilitated all of our get-togethers and helped to make what little time we have fantastic!

These past two days were amazingly orchestrated and the whole weekend was a going away party for Michelle and Rob out at their family cottage! What a exciting weekend we all had! Friday we all went for a late night swim and Saturday was filled with so much stuff to do that I did not even have time to take a picture, though I do have pictures to post that were taken by Annette.

It all started with pancakes cooked over the fire for breakfast, with fresh fruit (yummy) and then off to the beach we went. I wish I had a picture, (I do now) because I can not do justice to what happened next. Shortly before noon I saw a boat pulling what looked like some sort of…….well I do not know what to call it but what it was is a dock of sorts or a island that is pulled out into the middle of the lake and left there for the day. This is done so that instead of having to go back to the marina or to find a dock to load people from for water skiing, biscuting or jet skiing you can simply stay right in the middle of the lake. It is also big enough that you can just hang out on it with probably about 7 people comfortably – more if they are in the water lounging about on turtles, blow up boats, floating beds, noodles ex cetera. The idea is so ingenious that as funny as it looked I can not believe more people do not do this. It was just so convenient.

Later that night a blind one man band came to play at the cottage and though I use to think I was a fantastic two-stepper, I had to admit to myself that I suck and definitely need more practice since it has been close to 10 years since I spent any amount of time at the Ranchman’s. So I promise I will be better next year and will practice all winter so I can out dance Gilles next summer – or whenever. lol

So this was the kids and my Saturday and Sunday, we had a blast. I know that more great times are to come but in the in-term I am going to miss Michelle and Rob, wish them the best in the year to come and God Speed on their way home.

P.S. For anyone who missed the hail storm check out this video and pic’s they are amazing and yes one of the hail stones is almost 3 inches! Walking around our neighborhood today you could probably count about every 5-6 car with shattered windshields!

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Je ne sais pas, why everything has to be so complicated!

Posted by leahtard on July 11, 2007

Je ne sais pas if it is genetic or if it is some innate thing in my personality, but more often than not I make things way to complicated. I can turn the simplest thing in to quite the production, (it is not so much that I am a drama queen because I’m really not.) It is more along the lines of wanting everything to be perfect/magical. At first this often drives people nuts about me simply because I can not settle with the mundane or the plain, everything needs to have meaning and be the best or most perfect that it can be. Now, everyone often makes fun of me and “Leah’s magical moments”, I don’t really mind because it suits who I am and who I want to be. But I do have to admit that “we” do get a lot of mileage out of it.

I like to put most of this down to being the first born and my parents need to over compensate for my somewhat dubious entrance into the world, (I may or may not go into this at a later date, needless to say it is not a “new” story, but it is mine.) Anyway, I have this need to be first – so I always walk really fast so I can be in front. Viv and I will actually be walking down our hall and both of us will be running by the end of it so we can get to the kitchen first! Truthfully I even tripped her once so I could win! I hate losing and since having kids I have had to really work on my piss poor attitude, (just so you know I am failing miserably because Vivian is very much like me in this and Alex is a close second.) Glenn…..well he is not competitive, which is probably why we get along so well, it is most probably the reason we very rarely argue, what would I argue with him about? It just does not matter to him if he does not win. Yes, crazy I know.

I also like to be the best mommy. I’d like to say on the block but what I really mean is of everyone I know. I want the cleanest house the happiest kids, the shiniest windows and do not get me started on my car……oh dear! I do realize that I am a psychologist’s dream and have thought about this a lot, talked about it a lot, been made fun of a lot and have decided that I do not care because I like me…….. so there!

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Marshmallow guns who knew!

Posted by leahtard on July 5, 2007

Last weekend we went to gull lake to visit some family and what a fantastic time we had. We made some new friends and had a lot of fun. While we were there Annette, happened to show my kids some “marshmallow guns”. What you do is drop a mini marshmallow in to a chamber then blow, and out comes this flying little marshmallow. Fun was had by all and as you will see when you watch the video Alex ate most of them!

I know you want to see what we were up to, so click on the link below!

Gull Lake June 07

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How To Say “I’m Sorry”, If You Are 3 or 93.

Posted by leahtard on July 3, 2007

img005.jpgThis is my invention – an absolute moment of genius if you ask me.

If you have kids than you have struggled with the “I’m sorry” dilemma. You know half the time they (as in the kids) do not mean it and the other half they are mad/sad because they have got caught. Then there are the kids who are so stubborn that they would not give you the steam off their piss if it would make your life one bit easier, (be honest all of our children can be stubborn like this on occasion). I have rolled this I’m sorry thing around in my head now for about 4 years and have rarely come up with a solution that works. There seems to be two schools of thought. One being that you make them say sorry and eventually they will get it, (which is what I have been doing). The other being that you should not make them say it because they do not mean it and you are teaching the child to be false to themselves and to the person that they have hurt.

Truth be told neither of these “plans” worked for me and I never felt that they were good solutions. One of my main problems was that how is the person who was hurt a part of this whole thing if the only thing that happened was your kid saying sorry. Where was the accountability and the problem resolution?

Here was what I have come up with and so far it seems to be working.


Vivian and Alex are playing outside having a grand old time and for some unknown reason that only God in his infinite wisdom could ever possible imagine, Alex goes up to Vivian and pinches her or maybe he even pushes her off her bike. I now have one crying Vivian and a Alex who has run away and hiding because he does not want to get into trouble.

First do the basics – these are the things you would do anyway….. Or I hope you would.

Step 1. Make sure Vivian is not going to die and or bleeding profusely.

Step 2. Find offender and bring him back to the scene of the crime.

*Step 3. Alex has to say sorry to Vivian. He has to look at her when he does it and he has to say it in a tone of voice that actually contains some amount of sympathy. If they have to say it one time or ten, I do not care but the I’m sorry must be said with meaning!

*Step 4. Alex now has to ask if Vivian is okay. She usually says yes, but that is neither here nor there, Alex needs to know if she is okay.

*Step 5. Alex now has to ask if there is anything else he can do. Once again Vivian usually says no, but reparation has to me at least offered in order for anyone to feel a little better.

Since I started doing this a few weeks ago, my kids seem to be more concerned when they hurt someone. Maybe because they have to ask the questions or maybe because now there is a bit of follow through. Either way I am not sure, I do know that after we do the three step, that each time once it is over it is truly over. I always say. “Okay, then we are done lets get on with our day.” For some reason it works! Many of my friends are doing it now and the kids know that whether they are at Nancy’s, Kathryn’s or grandma’s house it is all the same.

My hope and I think all of our hope is that we raise caring and responsible children, I hope that this will make that step easier. I do not want Vivian watching a old lady fall and just run over and ask if she is going to be fine then leave thinking her “job” as a responsible citizen is done. I want her to help her and make sure she is okay. I want kids that speak up, and don’t let other people bully. I want kids that are strong and able to stand up for themselves and maybe by showing that we/they care when someone has been hurt I can help that along.

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To Growing Up or Not To Grow Up.

Posted by leahtard on June 18, 2007

As my children get older I hear more and more how fast they grow up. As a matter of fact I get the opportunity everyday to watch it happen right before my eyes. My husband Glenn, who I think is by far the best father in the whole world is always telling Vivian that he wishes she would stay four for ever. Most little kids it always seems to me want to grow up, and fast! But Vivian she will sit with her daddy and lament about growing up and how she does not want to.

I get sad too when I think of my little peanuts growing-up, but at the same time I love each stage more than the last and have more fun with my kids with every passing day. Maybe it is because I get to stay at home with them or maybe because I am a mom who really enjoys her children, I am not sure. Either way there are few things I would rather be doing than hanging out with my kids and other moms who hold similar thoughts.

Lately I have been hearing a lot about children growing up and how sad it makes us, but this is what I want you to think about. Be thankful that they are growing up. Growing in mind, body and spirit. Be thankful that they are slowly growing away from you. Be thankful they are pushing the boundaries and trying to gain independence. I have seen way too may children who will be 1, 2, 3 even 4 years old forever because of some mental “incapacity” as it were. Do not get me wrong I love diversity, I love that our children have different needs and different personalities, some very strong and some very mild and others in between.

I am a strong advocate of diversity in the classroom and creating/having it in life. Why? Well, because it is what makes us strong! Obviously not in the sense of physically strong, more along the lines of teaching us how to live strong. How to be excepting, compassionate, forgiving and most importantly of all loving. Differences in every form, no matter how small teach us tolerance and acceptance, something we do not have enough of in the world today. Children have the amazing ability to facilitate this simply by being.

I would have to say I have never met a child who was not loving and willing to give of themselves, it seems that even through hardship children have amazing resiliency and ability to forgive. A inborn quality that would surpass that of most any adult on the planet today. So, I guess that we will miss our children, it is part of our job as parents to morn their growing up but do we want them to say children? No. When they grow, so do we, the blessing in all this is that we get to do it together.

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Kama-Kazi Sliding!

Posted by leahtard on June 12, 2007

My almost 3 year old has a birthday coming up in late July, but we go on holiday for most of August so often Alexander gets his gifts from grandma and grandpa early so he has a chance to enjoy them before summer is done, (with them it’s go big or go home)! Two years ago he got a bouncy house and last year he got a “John Deere” motorized tractor, this year was the year of the View this montage created at One True Media
Dual Raceway Water Slide! Needless to say it was a roaring success. Not only because the kids can go on it but because it will hold a combined weight of 400lbs! Do you know what that means!!!!! Yes, it’s true, I and my friends will be on it – racing our afternoons away, (in between margarita slushes).

With out a doubt these things are expensive, (though g’ma and g’pa bought ours, I recommend you con yours to do the same). I have not seen my children or for that matter any of the children in the neighborhood in two days, because all “I have to do is look out my back door to see one whip down the slide after another. WOOOOOHOOOOOO! Every hour or so I provide refreshment in popsicle form and they are good to go again!

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“Gun it!”

Posted by leahtard on June 4, 2007

I may get a fare amount of flack for this but I do not have a real problem with guns. Maybe it is because my husbands family are farm people and I have had close family with farms in the past or because in the “good old days” when you took outdoor. ed “they” (as in the school) actually took you out to the range and taught you to shoot, to take care of, and clean a gun. Either way I think when taught to use one properly it is a good skill to have. I will let my brother in law, (an avid gun enthusiast/collector) teach Vivian and Alex how to use one and, (cover your eye’s and hold your breath) shoot something like a gopher or bunny or bird or – the list could go on for ever. My reasons why are quite simple. Because they are going to be around guns probably for the rest of their lives and because at the farm they slaughter and go hunting. It is important for my children to have a basic knowledge of how a gun is used and to know that it is not a toy. (I do not let my kids play at shooting each other and I do not buy water guns, but they do have squirt bottles.)

Are their ways to teach this with out killing something? Probably, but not with the same impact. My kids will be around guns and have to know the seriousness of them, and if they end up crying because of it then I hope the message will be that this stuff is serious shit! Maybe if I tell Brian it has to be a bunny that they kill, then we could eat it and use the skin for a hat and the bones for forks or something, then it would not be quite so senseless. I don’t know if I could eat a bunny, a poor little helpless and defenseless bunny. Oh dear I just might barf at the senselessness of it all. Maybe it’s the political correctness that makes me not feel right or the fact that “we” are so far removed from the slaughter of the meat that we eat most everyday. No longer do we kill our own food, it is done for us.

I think the thought of somebody, some real person that you might actually know killed a living thing on purpose does not sit well with much of society today. Unless of course it’s that luscious 18 pound turkey that was farm raised, organic grain fed and slaughtered in the most humane way. This same turkey we most carefully break apart bread for, let dry, season it and then stuff it up the turkey’s arse till it is packed in so tight we have to sew the damn bird back together! Hmmmm, sounds humane. Then we bake it for hours on end basting the turkey in it’s own boiling juices hoping for the tenderest meat and crispiest skin. To top it all off we lovingly partner it with all of our favorite fruit, veggies and pies!

By and by, do I mean that every Tom, Dick and Harry, should own a gun or have access to one. No! I think that their should be mandatory testing – just like for your learners and then another for your drivers. Something like “Hey I just started to shoot so stay away from me.” To something like. “Hey I have been doing this for a while and am responsible and can be trusted, and probably wont kill you or myself!”

I did not think the “gun registry” was worth while only because it was put in to action so poorly, but in theory it was a good idea. I do not want every child, adult or both to have access to one. I do not think owning a gun is a “right”, and if you have been to jail you should NEVER be able to own a gun. But I do believe in raising responsible and informed children and for me, them knowing how to use a firearm is part of that.

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How well do you know me.

Posted by leahtard on May 31, 2007

*Sorry I am still trying to figure out how I have messed up my video capture.

I see these things all over the place and finally decided to do one.

20 years ago I was 14 in Jr. High and competed and coached gymnastics.

15 years ago I was 19, living in Medicine Hat going to College and working at Spruce Meadows in the summer. I thought I was really “hot shit!”

10 years ago I was 24, living in Calgary with my best friend Tracy, having the time of my life with no worries, no concerns, (except that rent was paid and making it to work on time) and of course partying as much as possible. (Still working at Spruce Meadows in the Summer).

5 years ago I had been married for 2 years lost 2 babies and another on the way. Praying to God everyday that this one would “stick.” All my dreams of having a little girl became a reality, what more could anybody want!

4 years ago I was pregnant with baby number 4, praying to the great white porcelain God morning noon and night. All the while hoping for another “Bonnie Bunny.”

3 years ago I was thanking the good Lord above because He knew that what you ask for is not always what your really want or need. He sent me a little “Peter Rabbit.” So I would live and know the joy a little boy could bring. (That is one wish that I will be eternally grateful was not granted.)

2 years ago I was totally obsessed with my children, (still am). I started taking Kayaking and Jazz classes. I have realized that I am not the center of the universe. But in our family we have our turns being the center of each others lives and then sometimes we are the satellites.

1 year ago I was missing my baby girl because she started school. Where has the time gone. 1 year ago I was horrified because my 2 year old boy could swim better than my 3 year old girl. He had no problem jumping of the diving board, where he would pop right back up and swim about 3 meters to me. (All under the recommendation/supervision of his swim instructor – she said. “Leah he can do this.”

6 months ago we were getting ready for our “best Christmas ever.” Both kids finally “get it”, and we were so excited.

2 weeks ago I started having my summer “pool parties” again. Hooray!! I had the chance to meet family I had never met before – amazing – and one of my closest friends, Nicole has to go back to work just when we were getting to know on another again and I already miss her horribly:(

1 week ago we were stuck in the house for days because it was raining and I thought I was going to go cuckoo so I traveled to Lethbridge to see my friend before she goes back to work.

1 day ago I was steam cleaning my carpets and on the advice of a close friend (see above) added vinegar to the cleaning solution (because this would make it cleaner)? Don’t ask. I thought I had pissed my carpet cleaner because the vinegar caused a chemical reaction with the Bissell Multi Allergin cleaning solution (in the green bottle) and congealed in my cleaner clogging up the tubes. It turned into something like white glue just as it is starting to set. Because on occasion I have moments of genius I was able to fix it – all by myself. Though I did have a handy lie all ready for Glenn when he came back from music class. I am glad I did not have to use it because, one I am a suckie lier and always get caught and two I always tell on myself in the end because I can’t handle the pressure, (which is why I always get caught). I am such a dough head – that of course was not a moment of genius.

Today I had a pool party and all us moms were jealous that the kids could go on the Wet Banana and we could not. Well we could but that would take more liquor than I have and I think I would literally piss myself if I were to actually do it much less see it.

Tomorrow I intend to love my children and my husband more than I did today.

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Ballet Rehersal

Posted by leahtard on May 26, 2007

Vivian has ballet rehearsal today and I am also in the show! If I am clever enough and can figure it out I will try to put both shows up here. Vivian’s is serious mine, well, ummmm, not so much!

***I am sorry, I am having a heck of a time trying do figure out my video capture***

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Odds and ends

Posted by leahtard on May 25, 2007

[rockyou id=70383796&w=450&h=338]

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Cellular Memory?

Posted by leahtard on May 23, 2007

Have you ever heard of “cellular memory”?

Definition by Todd Carroll: Cellular memory is the speculative notion that human body cells contain clues to our personalities, tastes and histories, independently of either genetic codes or brain cells.
Have you ever met someone and thought. “I know this person, I can feel it inside of me.” Now in most cases when we meet people we have never met we brush this off, I for one have never believed in “de ja vue” or a lot of the “hocus pocus” that many people subscribe to today, a lot of that touchy feely crap makes me a little queezy. I am so tired of the mentality of people who say. “But I am happy, so it must be good.” Or. “But, I want to do it.” Get real people! By only caring about yourself you are probably doing more harm than good. I am not saying I do not believe in God or our innate intuitive ability, because I do. I have a very strong faith in God and the gifts he has given us all. What I do not believe in is the person who will tell you they can see the future or speak to the dead. I think that this is really creepy and frankly down right disturbing! I do believe in right and wrong, but not at the cost of morality. The moral high ground is so often much harder to discern because it is bungled in this quagmire we call life and our own personal experiences needs and wants. (Oooop’s damn I did it again, me and these darn fingers.)

Last week I had the opportunity to meet family I had never met before. They were amazing, gracious, kind and warm. In short they were everything I had imagined that they would be. They embraced me and made me feel comfortable and safe. They opened their arms to me to help me feel whole. It was obvious that these parents love their children and that the children love each other, you could feel that their was a connectedness between them that comes with long love and long friendships. This is the type of family I think we should aspire to.

While I sat with this family I had a feeling I had never in my life had before. It was as though I knew these people and had always. I felt kinship with them, and somewhere in my body that I had my whole life refused to recognize or put word to, that I knew them. Not physically of course, that was not possible but on some cellular level my heart cried out to me wanting me to recognize the connection. The connection that was deeper than what I could see, it was what I could feel. It was what I knew.

Thank you to this family for being brave and courageous and to taking the steps to know me. Thank you to this family for making me feel like family!

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