Not actually a tard.

I can tell someones personality by the way they sound when they screw!

Posted by leahtard on September 3, 2007

Oooooooooooooooooh, I knew that would get your attention!

The other night I was lying in bed and I had a thought. I did not like my electrician, (the one doing my basement development.) From the moment he came into my house he was rude. I tried a little small talk, then coffee, finally I offered him homemade cookies… And if you know me at all you know I make a kick ass cookie! Nothing made him happy. Then for the next three days I had to listen to him drill holes, pound nails and hammer. Each time feeling as though this man should not be in my house – I don’t like him. But I needed a job done so instead of listening to his rude screwing we packed up the kids everyday and left my house.

The bad screw

Any way I digress, back to the screwing. Here are my thoughts. I knew very shortly after our “electrician”, started his job that he was a ass. Now you might want to ask me how. Well, I will tell you and it is because of the way he screws! NOT ME, I AM HAPPILY MARRIED. But the way he drives a screw into the framing, and the way he hammers and the way he drilled a hole or maybe the way he skulked around my basement like some misery chick, with black nail polish and a bad dye job!

The happy screw

Soon I began to think of Cory and his dad Gord Marshmann our General Contractor and how I enjoyed having them in my home. It is not uncommon to hear them whistling while they work, (yes I know) or talking amongst themselves or to others on the phone trying to get people in in a courteous and timely manner. I do not mind having the Marshmann’s here. They are so respectful and obviously love what they do, I am certain I would be hard pressed to find another contractor who was better. Not to mention their “screwing” does not bother me one bit, each drive of the screw driver sounds nice and their hammering does not sound angry.

So as lie in bed I realize everyone has a different way in which they “screw” and I started to think about the people I had heard “screw.”

The purposeful screw

This would be my Glenny (he will choke when he read this I am sure) , absolutely everything Glenn does is for a reason and has a purpose, he rarely meanders about with out a reason and is very particular about jobs he would tie his name to. When I have heard him “screw”, (that is so funny, I can’t stand it). He does not mess around, he is there to get a job done and you can hear it. In all I would say it is very much how he runs his life.

The I don’t want to hurt you screw (a.k.a. the mercy screw – only because I have to)

This is often me, when I hold a drill, or a hammer and have to do some “blue job”. I am always scared of wrecking something, (which is not uncommon) or hurting my self or someone else. (I am the girl who use to kick rocks home from school then feel bad because I had taken them away from there “rock families”, so had to make a new family’s for them with the “other” rocks I had kicked home at various points in the year.) Sooooo, my “screwing” is always a little hesitant before I find my groove.

The pressure screw, not.

This is my neighbor who I love dearly and who also seems to me to be able to any job in the world that she sets her mind to. But…… she can not “screw”, when ever Glenn and I listen to her it is almost painful. She starts quite forcefully then loses pressure and you hear a du, du, du, du, du, du, du, du……….. as the bit is slowly worn off because of lack of pressure.

Last but not least

The I don’t give a fuck screw

This is a person who shall remain nameless, but this person will “screw” anything because it is his, (oooop’s) God given right to do as he pleases. This person does not really care about the work that they do or how it looks when they are done, they are only concerned with banging out the job. This persons “screw” sounds random and the pressure is inconsistent, not to mention the relatively sloppy work that they do.

So there in a nutshell is “screwing as I hear it”, I am sure if you think about it you could think of a few personalities too. If you do let me know, I’d been keen to hear.

4 Responses to “I can tell someones personality by the way they sound when they screw!”

  1. chelle said

    hahaha you are too funny!

  2. Josie said

    I just snorted much needed wine out my nose – but I don’t care, I needed the laugh.
    I am just like you – I don’t want to damage anything.

    But you actual General contractors sound great, while the electrician sounds like he needs to get the pickle out of his ass.

  3. Heh. Such a “Leah” post!

  4. Jessie said

    TeeHee! I never thought about it, but you make a good point!

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