Not actually a tard.

Archive for September, 2007

A woman I love.

Posted by leahtard on September 25, 2007

The montage below are just some picks from our mom and daughter travels this summer. The first few are from the party the others are of a trip to Edmonton and the Saxby cake factory as well as Viv with her uncle Gilles and grandma Lauriette.

View this montage created at One True MediaView this montage created at One True Media

Cinderella 1

I was really lucky the other day because I had the chance to spend the day with Vivian – just us girls. She had a princess birthday party to go to in the afternoon so we got her all dressed up as Cinderella and went for lunch. It was so nice, to spend time alone with my daughter and it gave me a chance to appreciate what a great kid she is. For her it was a chance to spend alone time with mommy and to not worry about the boys always “pestering” us.

While we were having lunch at a very swanky “hot spot” here in town, (Smitty’s), I noticed a lady sitting alone, who was shortly joined by another woman and her two daughters. Very quickly I became engrossed in what I was watching. The two women were sitting on one side of the booth and the two girls were sitting on the other. Soon as the young girls sat down, (they were 12ish) they started talking to the woman.

I could not hear what they were saying but the look on everyones faces was easy to read. The girls were talking a blue streak and the friend was listening intently adding comments here and there and the mother seemed happy to be out with her girls.

All this people watching made me a little nostalgic for one of the friends my mom had when I was a child. I remembered my moms very best friend from the time they were just little girls, Linda. Though Linda was no relation to me, we called her auntie. Anyway she truly spent more time with us than any other family we had that was related. I think I would be hard pressed to recall a time she was not a part of our lives when we were small. If my mom was there Linda would be too. They were always together and if auntie Linda was around you knew you would have fun.

The one thing you always remember about auntie Linda was her laugh. I would be hard pressed to find anyone with a more infectious laugh than her, and of course her smile, she had the most lovely smile that made you feel as though you were the most special person in the world. When Linda talked to you, you always felt that she gave you here undivided attention, as a kid and pre-teen, we are often brushed off by adults so even a small amount of time made you feel very special. Well, this was Linda.

I had the privilege of chatting with auntie Linda the other day and even on the phone I could feel her smile and naturally hear her laugh, and it gave me the warm fuzzies. I was thinking that even though we often do not know we are making a difference in a child’s life, it is important to take time with them and enjoy, because you never no how you will make a difference.

Thank-you auntie Linda for loving me, 34 years later I can still feel it.

Posted in life, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Warm Muffin.

Posted by leahtard on September 10, 2007

Once a month or so my girlfriend Tracy and I go for Sushi, this is our time to get out with out the kids and have some adult time, (though she workes and gets a significant more of it than me.) On these evenings I sometimes get dressed up, (remember this is mommy dress up, not to be confused with hootchie dress up which is what I use to do.)

I figured I was dressed quite nice, I had put a little extra effort into my appearance that night and it looked like it was paying off. I had started to notice I was getting a number of appreciative stares from the men and jealous ones from the women. I was wearing my favorite heeled black boots a nice pair of dark blue jeans, a black sweater, and my favorite, a lovely super long brown scarf, wrapped around my neck in the way that was most fashionable that winter.

Of course me being me, I was quite please with how cute I looked and impressed that in my old age, (33) and even with a “little” extra weight I still had “it”. Now if you know me then you might realize that this attention as it were would put a little more swing in my hips, pop my chest out a bit and inch my head up a little higher. (In my brain I am imagining my glory days when men would fall at my feet and offer to marry me. When I was hard pressed to find a girl hotter than me. I was quite certain the only reason I had not been discovered was because I am practically a midget at 5 foot 4.)

These are the things I am doing and thinking as I walk through the mall. As we get closer to the restaurant I start to feel quite warm. Warm in a way I have never felt before….. warm down below…… you know down south…… so warm in fact that I have almost forgot how cute I was and am thinking about how one gets quite so, ummmm cozy in that area. Soon we reach the restaurant and as I unload my shopping onto the near by chair I realize that both ends of my scarf had got caught up between my legs. The wool scarf itself is wrapped around my neck, cutting down between my boobs only to be tucked in quite firmly between my legs and the tails and are splayed around the back of my bum like a great giant hairy brown spider coming out for a peek.

Gone are all my dreams of being a femme fatal. I am going to have to live with the fact that all I have is a really warm muffin.

Posted in Adult, life | 6 Comments »

I can tell someones personality by the way they sound when they screw!

Posted by leahtard on September 3, 2007

Oooooooooooooooooh, I knew that would get your attention!

The other night I was lying in bed and I had a thought. I did not like my electrician, (the one doing my basement development.) From the moment he came into my house he was rude. I tried a little small talk, then coffee, finally I offered him homemade cookies… And if you know me at all you know I make a kick ass cookie! Nothing made him happy. Then for the next three days I had to listen to him drill holes, pound nails and hammer. Each time feeling as though this man should not be in my house – I don’t like him. But I needed a job done so instead of listening to his rude screwing we packed up the kids everyday and left my house.

The bad screw

Any way I digress, back to the screwing. Here are my thoughts. I knew very shortly after our “electrician”, started his job that he was a ass. Now you might want to ask me how. Well, I will tell you and it is because of the way he screws! NOT ME, I AM HAPPILY MARRIED. But the way he drives a screw into the framing, and the way he hammers and the way he drilled a hole or maybe the way he skulked around my basement like some misery chick, with black nail polish and a bad dye job!

The happy screw

Soon I began to think of Cory and his dad Gord Marshmann our General Contractor and how I enjoyed having them in my home. It is not uncommon to hear them whistling while they work, (yes I know) or talking amongst themselves or to others on the phone trying to get people in in a courteous and timely manner. I do not mind having the Marshmann’s here. They are so respectful and obviously love what they do, I am certain I would be hard pressed to find another contractor who was better. Not to mention their “screwing” does not bother me one bit, each drive of the screw driver sounds nice and their hammering does not sound angry.

So as lie in bed I realize everyone has a different way in which they “screw” and I started to think about the people I had heard “screw.”

The purposeful screw

This would be my Glenny (he will choke when he read this I am sure) , absolutely everything Glenn does is for a reason and has a purpose, he rarely meanders about with out a reason and is very particular about jobs he would tie his name to. When I have heard him “screw”, (that is so funny, I can’t stand it). He does not mess around, he is there to get a job done and you can hear it. In all I would say it is very much how he runs his life.

The I don’t want to hurt you screw (a.k.a. the mercy screw – only because I have to)

This is often me, when I hold a drill, or a hammer and have to do some “blue job”. I am always scared of wrecking something, (which is not uncommon) or hurting my self or someone else. (I am the girl who use to kick rocks home from school then feel bad because I had taken them away from there “rock families”, so had to make a new family’s for them with the “other” rocks I had kicked home at various points in the year.) Sooooo, my “screwing” is always a little hesitant before I find my groove.

The pressure screw, not.

This is my neighbor who I love dearly and who also seems to me to be able to any job in the world that she sets her mind to. But…… she can not “screw”, when ever Glenn and I listen to her it is almost painful. She starts quite forcefully then loses pressure and you hear a du, du, du, du, du, du, du, du……….. as the bit is slowly worn off because of lack of pressure.

Last but not least

The I don’t give a fuck screw

This is a person who shall remain nameless, but this person will “screw” anything because it is his, (oooop’s) God given right to do as he pleases. This person does not really care about the work that they do or how it looks when they are done, they are only concerned with banging out the job. This persons “screw” sounds random and the pressure is inconsistent, not to mention the relatively sloppy work that they do.

So there in a nutshell is “screwing as I hear it”, I am sure if you think about it you could think of a few personalities too. If you do let me know, I’d been keen to hear.

Posted in Adult, Uncategorized | 4 Comments »