Not actually a tard.

Archive for July, 2007

Glenny – Appreciating My Husband.

Posted by leahtard on July 26, 2007

img030.jpgGlenn and I

img041.jpgGlenn and Vivian img0462.jpgGlenn and Alex

My husbands name in Glenn and I mostly call him my Glenny, occasionally I might call him an ass, but it is not because I am mad at him, it is because he is being a smart ass, (not to be confused with a dumb ass because they are very different.) My Glenny is a pretty fantastic guy if I do say so myself and undoubtedly the best father I have ever seen in action, not to mention what a stellar husband he is.

I would have to say that he is definitely a hands on kinda dad, that always helps out with the kids and around the house. He can fix most anything, making him a pretty handy guy to have. Not only do I love him immensely and all he does for our family, I am quite partial to the lovely paycheck he brings home to me.

I could do a little list of the wonderful things he does for our family but I think he deserves a bit more than that, so if you are inclined bare with me and read about my husband and what a great guy he is.

This morning I woke up to my husband giving me a kiss good by before he left for work, (he has done this most everyday of our married life – 8 years.) Then as with everyday he goes to work to earn his pay. I know there are many days when he would love to stay at home, to be with us, to play, to love and to watch his children grow. He, maybe more that most laments about how much he is missing with the kids and how quickly they grow. I see it, and appreciate what he is saying but because I experience their lives with them everyday their growing up does not seem quite so – oh, I can’t find the right word, um mm…….imminent!

I love

I love how Glenn loves his family, his children and of course me. I love the time and effort he puts into all of his thoughts actions and deeds. I love how every night he comes home and everybody stops what they are doing to say hello and to give hugs and kisses. I love that Glenn always gives me a hour after he gets home to just do nothing but watch the three of them enjoy each other. I love how we talk every night about our days – what worked and what didn’t. I love that our solutions are ones we come up with together.

I appreciate

I appreciate his mother, Lois and his father Walter, who raised him to be such a fantastic man. I appreciate, the life Glenn works so hard to give me and our children. I appreciate how hard it is to be a man in the world today, where often if something makes you feel good it must be right and making the choice to do different can be a hard one.

I am thankful

I am thankful Glenn is not greedy or selfish, that he puts his family first always. I am thankful that he is conscious of how deeply he is needed, wanted and loved. I am thankful he is so loving back and so protective of his family.

We love you Glenn (Daddy)

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Frog cake

Posted by leahtard on July 20, 2007

View this slideshow created at One True Media
frog cake

To see all four pictures click on the link.

This cake worked great! I liked him so much I named him Fredrick Frog.

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Queen of Cake!

Posted by leahtard on July 19, 2007

View this slideshow created at One True Media

These are some of the cakes that have worked!

I love to bake, I love the praise that comes with what I bake, I love that people usually express great satisfaction over the effort I put into my projects and how everything tastes. Rarely do I have disasters and when I do it is typically something I can fix. This was not the case this week! I say week because it seemed everything I touched when bad. It started with banana bread then moved on to almond brittle, why I thought I could bake a children’s birthday cake is beyond me, but I did.

Last night I baked 6 – 9 inch round cakes, 3 chocolate fudge and 3 vanilla confetti along with one square cake and 6 large cup cakes and 4 small cupcakes. I do realize that all this baking seems a bit exorbitant but I bake cakes on the side for “pin money”, as my grandma use to call it. One cake is frog cake commissioned to me by a friend and the other was for Alex’s 3rd birthday party. This cake was going to be my crowning glory, better than any cake I had made before! The party theme was Pirates, and what Pirate party is complete with out a Pirate Ship Cake! So I put my plan into action I baked and baked and baked till finally all the cakes were done. I then threw them in the freezer to make them easier to work with. I whipped up my famous chocolate butter cream frosting and was ready to start first thing in the morning.

First thing in the morning I pulled my cakes out of the freezer and softened the icing, then slowly started to cut ice and glue my cake together. It was going perfect and looked amazing and took about 3 hours to ice. Here is where it all started to go bad. No sooner had I pipped on my last bit of icing than I hear a plop. I look down to see the back third of my cake lying on the floor! As I stood there dumbfounded I then watched the front third of my cake detach from the hull. I can not express the anger I felt/ feel at all this work going to waste.

As I stand there staring at my disembodied ship in great big chocolate heaps, I start to cry and then I scream! Alex and Evan come running into the kitchen to see what is wrong and start to laugh.

This is what I hear.

Alex: Oooooooooh mommmmmmmy, that is so funny, you got a brokent ship, you had better keen it up!

Mommy: I know that Alex and I will.

Alex: Mommy did you wreck my birthday party?

Mommy: You boys need to go away, I need a time out.

Thankfully they left and I sat down at the computer to write about it. The cake is still sitting on my floor yet to be cleaned up one hour later. I guess I’d better go do that now and get started again.

P.S. Alex started crying inconsolably about a hour later because he thought I wrecked his birthday, thankfully he liked the new cake idea and jumped on board!

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I hate clowns!

Posted by leahtard on July 18, 2007





clowns.jpg clowns3.jpg

I Hate Clowns

Big, round red noses and floppy, floppy shoes; orange fright wigs and all that garish makeup. Pretending to be something you know they are not – HAPPY! How can they be they usually look like a 60 year old miscreant drunk! You just know they can’t be up to any good.
There’s an actual name for the condition of being terrified by clowns. It’s called coulrophobia.
But let’s not stop, or even linger thoughtfully, at the phobia stage; let’s take it straight to the next level of detestation and loathing. Still with me? Good. You’re home.

I do not know how or when this “thing” with clowns started but local lore, (my mother) states that it was about the age of 2-3, they took me to the Shrine Circus, where a clown came up to me and I screamed like someone took away my favorite lolly, (which happens to be blue raspberry) and have had problems ever since. I might add I also am not so keen on marshmallows and Jello – but I think that is a texture thing. Anyway I digress, back to the God hatin clowns.

Yes, it is true I don’t like these creatures and why so many women have these heads of clowns hanging on there walls, truly befuddles me (it is so creepy, I can not express my distrust of people who love and hang these things up I always think they are hiding something) and am not at all sure why it could be considered “Art”.

Tell me please if you hate clowns or maybe just about that thing you hate!



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Saying good-by when I have hardly said hello.

Posted by leahtard on July 17, 2007

View this montage created at One True Media
View this montage created at One True Media
Friends/Stampede/Gull Lake/Hail

For those who do not know I have had the opportunity to connect with family that I had never met before. I say met because I always knew about them…… sort of, but because of circumstances being what they were a meeting would not happen for years. A couple months ago I had the opportunity and honor to met my half-sister Michelle and her husband Rob along with, my half-brother Gilles and their mom Annette. Very soon after we all met I found out Michelle and Rob were leaving on a one year trip, how exciting for them but leaving us with very little time to get to know each other before they leave. God Bless Annette in all this because she has facilitated all of our get-togethers and helped to make what little time we have fantastic!

These past two days were amazingly orchestrated and the whole weekend was a going away party for Michelle and Rob out at their family cottage! What a exciting weekend we all had! Friday we all went for a late night swim and Saturday was filled with so much stuff to do that I did not even have time to take a picture, though I do have pictures to post that were taken by Annette.

It all started with pancakes cooked over the fire for breakfast, with fresh fruit (yummy) and then off to the beach we went. I wish I had a picture, (I do now) because I can not do justice to what happened next. Shortly before noon I saw a boat pulling what looked like some sort of…….well I do not know what to call it but what it was is a dock of sorts or a island that is pulled out into the middle of the lake and left there for the day. This is done so that instead of having to go back to the marina or to find a dock to load people from for water skiing, biscuting or jet skiing you can simply stay right in the middle of the lake. It is also big enough that you can just hang out on it with probably about 7 people comfortably – more if they are in the water lounging about on turtles, blow up boats, floating beds, noodles ex cetera. The idea is so ingenious that as funny as it looked I can not believe more people do not do this. It was just so convenient.

Later that night a blind one man band came to play at the cottage and though I use to think I was a fantastic two-stepper, I had to admit to myself that I suck and definitely need more practice since it has been close to 10 years since I spent any amount of time at the Ranchman’s. So I promise I will be better next year and will practice all winter so I can out dance Gilles next summer – or whenever. lol

So this was the kids and my Saturday and Sunday, we had a blast. I know that more great times are to come but in the in-term I am going to miss Michelle and Rob, wish them the best in the year to come and God Speed on their way home.

P.S. For anyone who missed the hail storm check out this video and pic’s they are amazing and yes one of the hail stones is almost 3 inches! Walking around our neighborhood today you could probably count about every 5-6 car with shattered windshields!

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Je ne sais pas, why everything has to be so complicated!

Posted by leahtard on July 11, 2007

Je ne sais pas if it is genetic or if it is some innate thing in my personality, but more often than not I make things way to complicated. I can turn the simplest thing in to quite the production, (it is not so much that I am a drama queen because I’m really not.) It is more along the lines of wanting everything to be perfect/magical. At first this often drives people nuts about me simply because I can not settle with the mundane or the plain, everything needs to have meaning and be the best or most perfect that it can be. Now, everyone often makes fun of me and “Leah’s magical moments”, I don’t really mind because it suits who I am and who I want to be. But I do have to admit that “we” do get a lot of mileage out of it.

I like to put most of this down to being the first born and my parents need to over compensate for my somewhat dubious entrance into the world, (I may or may not go into this at a later date, needless to say it is not a “new” story, but it is mine.) Anyway, I have this need to be first – so I always walk really fast so I can be in front. Viv and I will actually be walking down our hall and both of us will be running by the end of it so we can get to the kitchen first! Truthfully I even tripped her once so I could win! I hate losing and since having kids I have had to really work on my piss poor attitude, (just so you know I am failing miserably because Vivian is very much like me in this and Alex is a close second.) Glenn…..well he is not competitive, which is probably why we get along so well, it is most probably the reason we very rarely argue, what would I argue with him about? It just does not matter to him if he does not win. Yes, crazy I know.

I also like to be the best mommy. I’d like to say on the block but what I really mean is of everyone I know. I want the cleanest house the happiest kids, the shiniest windows and do not get me started on my car……oh dear! I do realize that I am a psychologist’s dream and have thought about this a lot, talked about it a lot, been made fun of a lot and have decided that I do not care because I like me…….. so there!

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Marshmallow guns who knew!

Posted by leahtard on July 5, 2007

Last weekend we went to gull lake to visit some family and what a fantastic time we had. We made some new friends and had a lot of fun. While we were there Annette, happened to show my kids some “marshmallow guns”. What you do is drop a mini marshmallow in to a chamber then blow, and out comes this flying little marshmallow. Fun was had by all and as you will see when you watch the video Alex ate most of them!

I know you want to see what we were up to, so click on the link below!

Gull Lake June 07

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How To Say “I’m Sorry”, If You Are 3 or 93.

Posted by leahtard on July 3, 2007

img005.jpgThis is my invention – an absolute moment of genius if you ask me.

If you have kids than you have struggled with the “I’m sorry” dilemma. You know half the time they (as in the kids) do not mean it and the other half they are mad/sad because they have got caught. Then there are the kids who are so stubborn that they would not give you the steam off their piss if it would make your life one bit easier, (be honest all of our children can be stubborn like this on occasion). I have rolled this I’m sorry thing around in my head now for about 4 years and have rarely come up with a solution that works. There seems to be two schools of thought. One being that you make them say sorry and eventually they will get it, (which is what I have been doing). The other being that you should not make them say it because they do not mean it and you are teaching the child to be false to themselves and to the person that they have hurt.

Truth be told neither of these “plans” worked for me and I never felt that they were good solutions. One of my main problems was that how is the person who was hurt a part of this whole thing if the only thing that happened was your kid saying sorry. Where was the accountability and the problem resolution?

Here was what I have come up with and so far it seems to be working.


Vivian and Alex are playing outside having a grand old time and for some unknown reason that only God in his infinite wisdom could ever possible imagine, Alex goes up to Vivian and pinches her or maybe he even pushes her off her bike. I now have one crying Vivian and a Alex who has run away and hiding because he does not want to get into trouble.

First do the basics – these are the things you would do anyway….. Or I hope you would.

Step 1. Make sure Vivian is not going to die and or bleeding profusely.

Step 2. Find offender and bring him back to the scene of the crime.

*Step 3. Alex has to say sorry to Vivian. He has to look at her when he does it and he has to say it in a tone of voice that actually contains some amount of sympathy. If they have to say it one time or ten, I do not care but the I’m sorry must be said with meaning!

*Step 4. Alex now has to ask if Vivian is okay. She usually says yes, but that is neither here nor there, Alex needs to know if she is okay.

*Step 5. Alex now has to ask if there is anything else he can do. Once again Vivian usually says no, but reparation has to me at least offered in order for anyone to feel a little better.

Since I started doing this a few weeks ago, my kids seem to be more concerned when they hurt someone. Maybe because they have to ask the questions or maybe because now there is a bit of follow through. Either way I am not sure, I do know that after we do the three step, that each time once it is over it is truly over. I always say. “Okay, then we are done lets get on with our day.” For some reason it works! Many of my friends are doing it now and the kids know that whether they are at Nancy’s, Kathryn’s or grandma’s house it is all the same.

My hope and I think all of our hope is that we raise caring and responsible children, I hope that this will make that step easier. I do not want Vivian watching a old lady fall and just run over and ask if she is going to be fine then leave thinking her “job” as a responsible citizen is done. I want her to help her and make sure she is okay. I want kids that speak up, and don’t let other people bully. I want kids that are strong and able to stand up for themselves and maybe by showing that we/they care when someone has been hurt I can help that along.

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