Not actually a tard.

All things shiny (Part 1)

Posted by leahtard on April 29, 2007

Even when I was really small I knew that I liked shiny things. Maybe because all little girls do, maybe because we were poor (though we didn’t know it), maybe it was because my grandma is related to a duchess. Most probably it’s because I’m a greedy glut and knew even early on that shiny things were often worth more that things not so shiny. By the time I was 8 or 9 I could tell very easily if something was real gold or fake. By 12ish silver from white gold. 20’s white gold from platinum. Don’t even get me started on diamonds because I llllloooovvvveeee them! When Glenn and I went to go ring shopping the jeweler told us the stone I wanted was possibly too big for the setting and could scratch any potential children badly. Did I care! No way! I’m like bring it on, the bigger the better that’s what band-aids are for. I know that this is shallow and if I had any couth I would never admit to any of this but Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. (Didn’t see that one coming from a mile away did ya).

I had this philosophy that if you (the man) wanted to have, umm sex with me, well you had to marry me. I was not going to be just any man’s plaything/girlfriend I wanted some respectability to come along with this whole pre-marital sex thing. Thus I was engaged 3 times before I finally found the real deal with my Glenny. I remember asking him how he knew I wasn’t going to ditch him and he use to tell me that he just knew. I knew as well that he was not going anywhere, but with my track record who could know. Needless to say we were definitely cut out for one another. He is the caretaker and I like to be taken care of so it works out perfectly. The one thing I didn’t count on was Glenn’s very bizzare sense of humor.

Glow in the dark Golf

We were set up on a blind date in the summer of 99 and introduced at a local golf course for a round of glow in the dark golf. Glenn was a technician at a local dealership, and I had been working odd jobs waiting for October when I was leaving for a teaching post in the UK for four years on a grandparent visa. All was going swimmingly before the big trip and I thought I’ll go on this date 1) Because I have nothing better to do, and 2) Maybe I’ll get dinner out of it. Yes, I know that was not very nice and I’m sure boys everywhere will think yup she is the quintessential bitch (like any boys read this). Our date was nice, Glenn was nice, he thought I was nice and it just was not enough, and on our separate ways we went.

If I’m honest and I will be, 5 days before our date Glenn had moved into his newly built home – I did find that a little intriguing – but not enough to date him again. Once again I will be honest and admit that truthfully he didn’t ask me out again, much to my disgust and way over inflated ego.

Next: The only boy who ever made me work for “it”!


4 Responses to “All things shiny (Part 1)”

  1. I love your boy stories! Yay for Glenn! (I always tell the car/drivers license part of the story when someone tells me they don’t drive and I’m trying to convince them they should.)

  2. Tracy said

    Why do I remember the “he thought I was nice part” differently? And this part of “no sex” before marriage, did I live with someone different? Love ya.

  3. leahtard said

    I don’t want to talk about T, he was a dork, you tell your story I’ll tell mine. Then we will laugh about it later. Love ya

  4. chelle said

    What a sweet get together story. I did not think I was a bigger the better kind of girl till it was time to get the ring! hehe!

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